beEmpathy framework
beEmpathy is based on the beEmpathy framework. The framework explains what empathy is about and makes it adaptive. In four steps one can build a fundamental understanding of empathy and practise it step-by-step. Through conscious practice the empathy skill will be improved and the framework will eventually become an intuitive flow.
Every step is introduced with a guiding headline, supported by an encouraging question, and explained with a short and precise sentence.
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The circular model starts with “I hear you”. During step 1, one is asked to pay attention to what the other person is saying. One should avoid any judgement and be open-minded and interested in the other’s story. Thereby one should be patient and acknowledge that the other person defines the timing.
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Step 2, “I see you”, is about becoming aware of the other’s non-verbal signs of com-munication. One should notice the other’s tone of voice, keep eye contact, observe attitudes and actions as well as mimics.
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In step 3, “I feel you”, one tries to recognise the other’s emotions by taking on the other’s perspective and by imagining the situation from the other’s point of view. Through emotional awareness one can relate to the other’s emotions and gain both a cognitive and an affective understanding of the other.
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Step 4 is when the expressed empathy is at its highest. “I am with you” describes what empathy is all about. By taking on one’s own perspective again, one can translate the developed insights into awareness and compassion. One should try to identify the other’s needs and how one can meet them. Empathy isn’t about fixing but about being with and caring for each other.
The framework doesn’t stop with step 4 but rather encourages to repeat one of the previous steps if necessary.
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SELF-EMPATHY
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The beEmpathy framework is equally valuable when practising self-empathy. One has to care for oneself first before meeting someone else’s needs. Empathy isn’t something that we just give to others. We also have to learn how to be empathetic with ourselves and how to receive empathy.
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